Posted on Facebook yesterday evening:

What have we become in the UK – a nation of bullies?

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Text version:

So to some of you you know my predicament of being homeless. But yesterday morning I woke up feeling wet socks and clothes thought I might of left a bottle open or something. I then get told by the security of Debenhams I have 10 minutes which was fine. But as he walked away he said enjoy your water bed. So I bite back as it being boxing day. So I then begin to pack up my bedding to then discover that the secunity guard from the inside of debenhams had flooded all my bedding. And ruined clothing food dog bedding public donations brought by the kind members of public. So a few of us went into speak to management didn’t do anything apparently it’s acceptable to bullying the…

I first published this blog back in October last year, but it seems a good one to reblog……

No one gives you a handbook when you’re diagnosed and one of the most difficult things for couples and families to accept is that you will need help and support and ‘training’ on how to support a loved one with such a diagnosis. It must be a difficult concept to come to terms with. After all here is someone you may have lived with for 20-30 years – why on earth would you need training? But why wouldn’t you need training on how to support someone with a complex brain disease?
Training and support for couples and families in the practicalities is something else that’s sadly lacking post diagnosis.

It got me thinking about how lucky I am, in many ways, to live alone. It’s a family joke that my eldest daughter…

I published this last Christmas….but have added a few new pictures of Billy  to bring it up to date for another outing this year…..

Wendy’s out Christmas shopping so I’ve commandeered the iPad to write my blog:)……..well if she leaves it switched on what does she expect!
I knew the month of December had arrived when Stuart got this huge box down from the loft. Once emptied of all the huge branches and baubles, it makes an excellent den – never quite understand why humans insist on filling boxes when they’re so much more useful empty…….

I sat in said box and supervised Stuart putting up the tree – I remember as a kitten climbing up said tree as I thought we needed to start a new tradition of ‘Cat on top of tree’ instead of fairy, but it didn’t take on…I tried again this year, but either the tree…

The real impact on real people’s lives………..

Ok, so now you can smile, now you can place a tick against another statistic you’ve won, after all we are just a number to you – a number to win or lose.
But what effect on the real person behind the statistic – what price do you place on people’s lives?

I consider myself to be a strong person and you crushed me for a while, so well done, you achieved your outcome. I won’t appeal as I couldn’t face that whole process again. My life is difficult enough without this on going battle. So, much to the disappointment of many, I wave the white flag to bring an end to this unnecessary stress to me and my daughters – oh, yes…..had you forgotten that your actions affect far more than the claimant? It impacts on the lives of those around them as…

As I arrived for our weekly demonstration I was approached by a young man who appeared a little anxious. I took my leaflets out of my shopping trolley and asked him if he would like one. I could see that he was cold and worried.

He was a pleasant young man who had just been awarded his claim for ESA after a long battle to receive it. He had been helped by his social worker and other support workers. He openly told me that he had been diagnosed with a personality disorder after a long period of diagnosis and during that time, because he wasn’t receiving any treatment he had fallen off the rails and had got into bother.

He explained to me that he was trying to get his life in order and was doing his best. He said he just wants to be able to get stable on…

Most of my bestist friends live several hours away, so popping in for a cuppa isn’t an option. Two sets of dear friends have visited recently and have highlighted yet another new unexpected challenge………that of listening and talking for more than a few of hours has become an issue in so far as I have trouble concentrating for that long without getting distracted or a banging headache through having to concentrate so hard on what everyone is saying ………

It’s a very sad situation to be in as you don’t want to turn down friends visiting from afar, as they’re very special to me, but I just know I’ll be no use to anyone after a few hours and especially the following day.

The first set of friends were with me for probably 6 hours and although it had been a struggle, I thought I’d managed until I got up…

With an invisible condition such as Alzheimer’s and trying to live positively, we can end up becoming experts at appearing to be well – making dementia even more invisible. Some people simply accept the downward spiral but don’t want to talk about it or can’t talk about it – again, making dementia appear invisible.

To me, that makes it even more important to talk to those around you. So many supporters of those living with dementia have written to me about their loved ones or the person with dementia not talking, thus making it hard to understand how they feel or how they can help. Some are even in denial about the actual existence of dementia itself – both the people with dementia or their loved ones…….this can make it really hard for a couple, especially, to come to terms and adapt to living with dementia.

The clinical world is…

Don’t disable you’re loved one before they lose the capacity to do something – support them to find new ways instead.e.g take photos of the contents of cupboards to remind them where to find things and that the cupboards exist.

Expect good and bad days – embrace the good and support through the bad

Make plans and talk about the future – ignoring it won’t make it magically disappear.

Encourage your loved one to be involved in the community

Never contradict your loved one – live in our world as to contradict would simply confuse

TALK to your loved one about how they feel and how you feel.

Inspire others by talking freely about dementia – don’t be embarrassed.

Ask for help when you need it